Can shifting pronunciation be for the greater good?

 

ABOVE: The correct pronunciation of 'neologism'. A poster on Yahoo! Answers doesn't beat about the bush.

 

Most people know me as being a stickler for reasonably accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar, and in all honesty, to be attending sixth-form level education and simply not bothering to write in our best English in every situation just smacks of childish egotism. But I would hate for anyone to read this and think that even the most linguistically erudite folk never make mistakes. I am no stranger to diction danger.

Yes, one serious personal bugbear of mine has always been pronunciation of certain words. That said, I'm not the kind of guy to emulate the late Jade Goody by shamelessly mispronouncing terms such as "East Anglia", "scape goat" and "beautiful and talented Indian actress". It's usually the case when I'm being asked to read out a word in class that I've never come across before (and I know I'll get it totally wrong), I will normally shuffle my shoulders upwards and have a questioning intonation in my voice in a vain attempt at saving face.

 

I initially intended to revolve this research around neologisms, but figured that I wouldn't enjoy it that much if the technical terms alone proved to be a challenge. I mean, just look at that one word: 'neologism'. It's not the concept that's the issue, but focus on the last syllable – do you pronounce it as 'gih-sum' or something far ruder?

 

The brilliant work by The British Library suggests that most people under the age of 35 would use the North American pronunciation of the word 'harass', which is 'ha-RASS'. It's all about altering (or 'shifting') pronunciation, which suits the patois of the individual(s) and their social setting.

 

What I'd like to ask is this… even if it's not correct by definition; can shifting pronunciation be for the greater good? We don't want to take any meaning away from a word, but if nothing else, we can come up with more diplomatic utterances by changing the phonemes and stresses within words, thus easing our way out of the North Americans' underlying bottom fixation.

 

These days, the more politically correct way to pronounce the word 'Asperger's' (as in 'Asperger's syndrome') is 'ah-SPERJ-us'. You know, to make it sound more like a development disorder, and less like a warm gluteal sandwich you can pick up on the side of the A22. Going back to the word 'harass', if you stress that first syllable, then you'll be okay (er, providing you don't say 'harris').

 

And let's face it, even if meaning is taken away from a word, the results can leave us doubled-up. Ronnie Barker might have been ripped apart by Not The Nine O'Clock News for the reliance of spoonerisms (swapping morphemes of words in a sentence around for comic effect) in his comedy routines, but if we know that his sentences are intended to provoke laughter, then what's the harm in hearing about Rindercella being "knucking fackered" at the end of a day's cleaning?

 

Tom Channon