The language of caring

Hello my dear,

Do you want a hand with that, lovey?

Is everything alright, sweetie?

 Are you comfy? Would you like to take a seat, honey?

Do you want me to do that for you?

Every one of us has heard something along the lines of this. Where we are initially put down and feel like a child again. Maybe you've been in hospital and it's a nurse or doctor, and they try to make you feel better but in turn, sort of puts you off and makes you somewhat like a child. So, if we don't like this sort of "talk" or behavior, then why is it acceptable to use these kind of terms towards other people, disabled people, old people, anyone.

Why do we make our older generation feel like children again? Maybe it's because we're trying to be nice, but using the terms like "sweetie, honey, dear and lovey" in turn throws them back into childhood. Therefore instead of feeling like a generation that we're supposed to look up to, they in turn are being put down and degraded. Even in our teenage years or in our twenties, we get offended if anyone treats us like a child and from there on it progresses and we get more intensely offended.

 Although it almost seems like we go through a transition, we are children and are treated as children, we then progress into teenagers and are treated like children but also like adults at the same time, thus leading to adulthood where we are treated as adults and are expected to set a good example and from there it seems to go backwards. From around the age of 70, we are treated as though we are teenagers once again and thus when we are in our 80s and 90s we are treated as though we are children or infants, and we've never seen the world and need help.  86% of adults over the age of 70 said that they felt they were being degraded and treated as though they were children again just because of their age. 92% of adults in care homes said that they were treated and spoken down to, as if they were children once again. The majority of the sample said that they understood, that the staff and other people we just trying to be nice, but that it felt degrading.

So, why is it that we change our language towards people depending on age and possibly disability? The majority of people said that they didn't know what to say in the situation of meeting either a disabled person or someone who is an elder. That they didn't know what was right or wrong. Therefore used words such as "dear, honey and sweetie" to try and be nice, and show the generational gap and respect.

So, how will we react when we are older and treated like children, when we don't want to be treated like children now even though we've barley lived?

"You don't have to be handicapped to be different. Everyone is different" – Kim Peek (original Rain man)

 

Shannon Heywood

Word count : 519