What are the differences in the ways which men and women speak?

There are many differences between men and women, one of the less obvious being their use of language. Most people identify 'masculine' and 'feminine' ways of speaking, but really, there's a lot more to it than that and there's been much research done into gendered language.

 

George Keith and John Shuttleworth suggest ("Living Language" page 222) some fundamental differences in men and women's language. They claim that women are more talkative, more polite, and more inquisitive whereas men swear more, give more commands and interrupt more. They also suggest that women are more indecisive and hesitant and nag and complain more, while men insult each other and speak with a sense of authority. These features are what make language seem either 'feminine' or 'masculine'.

 

Robin Lakoff put forward her theory about women's language in contrast to men's, in "Languge and woman's place" in 1975 and later published a related article "Women's language" which set out her basic assumptions about the features of female language. Similarly to "Living Language", this article claims women are more polite and ask more questions, however in contrast claims that women actually speak less frequently than men. Lakoff also claims that women use empty adjectives such as "divine" and "cute", tag questions such as "you're going out later, aren't you?" and super polite forms such as "I'd appreciate it if…" Also included in the list are the claims that women apologize more, overuse qualifiers, use more intensifiers, lack sense of humour and use special lexicon e.g. describing red as burgundy or maroon.

 

The findings of O'Barr and Atkins' 1980 study into witness' speech in courtroom cases challenges the points put forward by Lakoff. They somewhat contradict the view that language differences are based on gender, and instead suggest that any differences are because of who holds authority within a specific situation.

 

Don Zimmerman and Candace West's 1975 study of mixed-sex conversations resulted in the proposal of the Dominance Theory.  They found that during 11 conversations between men and women, men interrupted 46 times, whereas women only interrupted twice. The Dominance Theory suggests that this shows that men have a desire to show their dominance in a conversation. Geoffrey Beattie's article in the new scientist magazine in 1982 however suggests that interruption doesn't necessarily reflect dominance and may really show interest and involvement.

 

Professor Deborah Tannen summarizes her research in an article in which she makes six contrasts between male and female language. These are status vs. support, advice vs. understanding, conflict vs. compromise, orders vs. proposals, information vs. feelings and independence vs. intimacy.  These contrasts overall suggest that women's use of language shows their need for support, understanding and intimacy from men, whereas men's language shows their desire to maintain a high status, provide information, and give orders.

 

Much of this research suggests that there are big differences in the language choices men and women make, whether consciously or unconsciously. Lots of it also suggests that these choices are a result of each gender having a desire to appear a certain way to society, e.g. men want to appear masculine and in control.

 

Darya Arjomand